A new poll! I will now tell two jokes, and you will vote on which one is funniest. I will not tell you which joke I said is funniest, because it is obvious to me that you people will know without any prompting. I told one, and a friend told one, and she insists that her joke is funny and mine is not. I said I'd put it up to a vote, and I predicted that at least 80% of respondents would side with me. So. I'm confident. Here you go.
Joke 1.
A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. After he eats the sandwich, the bartender drops off his check. The panda doesn't even look at the check. He pulls out a revolver and blasts the bartender in the face and takes off without paying. Another patron finds this behavior to be a bit extreme. Then someone pulls out an encyclopedia and turns to P, for panda. Under the listing for panda it says: Eats shoots and leaves.
Joke 2.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because seven eight (ate) nine.
Now it is up to you and your good taste to settle the bet. I'm not sweating this at all. Actually, now that both jokes are in print I'm almost embarrassed to have to do this at all. But I said I would, so I am.
Clearly you picked 'eats shoots and leaves', anyone who's competed in a national Buck Hunter contest, as you have, pictures themelves as said Panda, and enjoys the thought of a good gun bearing pun. However, both of these jokes are crap, and as with any crappy joke I prefer the quickest end to my punishment. Also, 7 ate 9 appeals to a broader audiance; any kid who can count to 10 can appreciate this one on some level. And lastly, never vote against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line
ReplyDelete'eats shoots and leaves' is your pick. I just know it. In fact, I think you have told me this one before.
ReplyDeletewhat?!
ReplyDeletethe funniest part for me was picturing the panda eating a french dip sandwich, and the aus jieuzx running into his fur, and him saying, "oh, man!"
ReplyDeleteby the way, this is Damian, not Amy.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably not completely fair that you have a huge family with a similar appreciation for a certain flavor of humor, but yours really is way funnier.
ReplyDeleteLike Yum said, it's all about the visual image.
Hehe... Silly panda...
The panda joke is getting funnier with each comment. And I did vote for that one. However, I kind of like the brevity of 7 ate 9... :)
ReplyDeleteThe brevity is what makes it lame!! The panda joke is the clear winner, with its superior character development, hilarious juxtaposition (panda in a bar--that's almost a joke by itself), irony (peaceful panda becomes blood-letting lunch-goer), and simple yet powerful moral: know who you're dealing with before going into business with them. The information that could have saved this bartender's life was easily accessible, had he only made a small effort to do the necessary research.
ReplyDeleteSo, it appears to be settled. Seven ate a panda for killing his favorite bartender. Can't blame him really -- there's not much meat on a nine. But I agree mostly with Karl, who I don't even know. Anyone who quotes The Prince's Bride is way cool. Hands down cool.
ReplyDeleteRudennuff
I liked the panda joke. Although my kids have always loved and told (and over told) the 7,ate, 9 joke. The panda joke wins.
ReplyDelete