Monday, April 27, 2009

Blog the 10th: In which Jaron shares some news at last.

So, it looks like I'm starting work in Paris on May 11th! That means I have a week to sell my bed, couch and TV, find an apartment in Paris, give a ton of clothes to charity (sorry, Keats, I need the tax break, Obama's breaking my back--am I right, Damian and Devon?), and watch a bunch of French films.
More later. Just thought I'd go BLAAAOOWWWW!!! Like that.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Blog the 9th: in which Jaron wins a bet.

A new poll! I will now tell two jokes, and you will vote on which one is funniest. I will not tell you which joke I said is funniest, because it is obvious to me that you people will know without any prompting. I told one, and a friend told one, and she insists that her joke is funny and mine is not. I said I'd put it up to a vote, and I predicted that at least 80% of respondents would side with me. So. I'm confident. Here you go.

Joke 1.

A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. After he eats the sandwich, the bartender drops off his check. The panda doesn't even look at the check. He pulls out a revolver and blasts the bartender in the face and takes off without paying. Another patron finds this behavior to be a bit extreme. Then someone pulls out an encyclopedia and turns to P, for panda. Under the listing for panda it says: Eats shoots and leaves.

Joke 2.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because seven eight (ate) nine.

Now it is up to you and your good taste to settle the bet. I'm not sweating this at all. Actually, now that both jokes are in print I'm almost embarrassed to have to do this at all. But I said I would, so I am.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Blog the 8th: Dance Party!!!!!!!!!

I'm still alive. Been a bit busy. But not too busy to keep you groovin'! Make 'em bounce now!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Blog the 7th. In which Jaron rings the dinner bell.

Firstly, I need to express my surprise and a little disappointment that only one person voted for the black candidate. And that person was me. I initially voted polynesian, but changed it so it wouldn't look like such a landslide victory for ALL the other races.

Seriously. It's 2009. We put a black man in the White House, but you won't put one in your crock pot? Looks like we still have a looooong way to go.

Anyway, ladies and gentleman, we have a winner! Polynesian. No surprise. Fed on good wholesome foods (and a LOT of them), they tend to be perfectly marbled by nature's goodness.

Here is a recipe you might want to try.

Jaron’s Tangy Poly-Roast

1 large red onion, diced
3 cloves fresh garlic, minced
2 tsp. salt
1 diced red pepper
1 diced green pepper
2 8oz. cans pineapple juice
3 c. shredded coconut
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 coconuts (whole)
1 refrigerator box
1 Medium-sized Polynesian (female, if you can get it), aged 18-36

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large saucepan, combine oil, onion, garlic and peppers. Sautee until peppers are soft.

Into the refrigerator box, add the two whole coconuts along with the Polynesian. Roll down standard sized stair case three times or until desired tenderness.

Place tenderized Polynesian into a large Corningware roaster.

Add sautéed vegetables and pineapple juice.

Bake for 1 hr. 45 minutes, covered, then add the salt and shredded coconut.

Remove cover and bake for an additional 45 minutes.

Allow to cool for 15 minutes.

Serves 4.

Photo credit: Flickr
Photoshop credit: Jarrell. You get a cookie.

Blog the Sixth: In which Jaron proves he can keep something going longer than a week.

Here's some passover fun for you!

Cute, huh? Soooo cute!

Also, there is news. I'm moving. To Tumblr. (You thought I was going to say Paris. Hilarious!)

Apparently Tumblr is the easiest way to post photos and videos and everything else I always dreamed a blog should have. And as my last post showed, I have very little aptitude for things that are more complicated than the wheel or the lever.

I am currently figuring out how to transfer this blog over to Tumblr, and if it goes well, I will try to take the family with me.